Potatoes: Creepy as all Hell

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Potatoes: Creepy as all Hell

Post by TheUltimateCombo on Wed Mar 16, 2016 3:30 pm

Yes, you read that right.

Now I know, you're saying what the (random word), potatoes aren't scary!

But I beg to differ folks.

Ever seen Between the Lions? Y'know that skit with the talking potato named Sam Spud? Innocent right? WRONG!

When I first saw that, I had my first nightmare, no string of nightmares! I even had a dream about this potato with hammer head backs(y'know the crowbar part) as fingers. Some creepy stuff. Now I don't have nightmares, save the occassional Slenderman trip, but those dreams screwed me up when I was younger, and it lingers. When my dad was still alive, mom had a potato growing "eyes" on our counter (she has some in the closet right now) and I was scared to go near that thing. It's just as bad as my fear of carnivorous plants, but worse since I'm actually around potatoes a fair share of the time.

I hate touching potatoes, I hate looking at potatoes, I might just hate eating potatoes if French Fries weren't so good. I have no problems with chopped or mashed potatoes though I guess. But still, I hate them. Some kids hate broccoli, I hate potatoes.

But if that wasn't enough, I've decided to make potatoes even scarier. You heard that right. My worst fears must be realized, albeit in story form.

Imagine if you will, a culture of sentient potato beings, with teeth, and an army that outnumbers the population of Earth vastly. Lead by Sam Spud as well. Now imagine that said potatoes had a ritual called the "Great Feast" which awakens during every major period of life in Earth's history. That lasts 500 years, and has Humans and various other species on the menu. Scared yet?


They can shapeshift, cloak themselves, and can overpower any hero you can rustle up. It would take them nothing to take over the world and virtually extinct the population. And once they're done feasting on Earth, they turn to the skies. What if a meteor didn't kill off the dinosaurs, but Potatoes? Stupid right? But I plan on changing that stigma.

If you follow my dA, I recently posted two journals about this idea called the League of Heroes. It's exactly what is says on the tin, and so imagine near endless heroes battling equally endless man-eating potatoes. For heaven's sake it'd be a blood bath, wouldn't it?

Now before you think I've gone off the deep end, I assure you, I know that this is pure crazy talk, but could you imagine how scary that could be? And that's why I want it to be my first story writing the League of Heroes history in story form.

But potatoes are my irrational fear, what's yours? Share your crazy fear plus feedback on this random idea.


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